Never Forget
by kreoff210
Summary: AU [Hogwarts] Somethings are never meant to be forgotten. And one mistake is all it takes. [RLSB, slash]
1. Headache

**_Disclaimer: Oh Mrs. R, how I wish._**

_Chapter One  
_

Remus loved the days when the sun shown bright in the sky, but seemed to lack the ability to blind you. For there was always a cloud or two that gave a nice cool cover from the shinning star. Remus could relax on these types of days. To forget temporarily.

On this one blissful occasion he decided to sit out under a tree, near the Quidditch pitch, so Sirius and James wouldn't nag him too bad for missing another one of their practices to read. Every other moment Remus chanced a glance toward their antics, until his book became so engrossing he failed to lift his eyes from the pages.

"OI! HEADS UP!" Yelled a student from the Pitch.

Remus pried he eyes away from the text to get a close up of the stray Bludger that collided with the side of his face.

"REMUS!" Came that same voice again, as the wolf was thrown at least four feet from his spot under the fern tree.

Remus groaned.

"Are you all right, Moony?" The voice seemed closer, and much more concerned. "Madame Hooch!"

Were the last words echoing in his mind before he passed out.

OoOoOo

Oh did his head hurt...

What the bloody hell happened?

The young wolf lifted a lead filled hand to the left side of his face. One timid touch made him regret his action.

"Oww," he breathed. His eyes flickered opened to see a black-haired boy standing to his right.

"You're awake, Remus! Are you feeling all right? Are you thirsty or anything? Madame Pomfrey said you might need a drink. I didn't mean to hit the Bludger that hard...Madame Hooch-" The boy's voice trailed off as he noticed dark eyes surveying him like a question on a pop quiz.

"Do I know you?"

"Of course you do, Remus!"

"Oh? Could you tell me your name then?"

The boy's mouth dropped to the floor. "Madame Pomfrey!"

"Well, that's an odd name. You don't look like a lady."

"Mr. Black, I don't want you shouting in my- Oh, Mr. Lupin, you're awake. How are you faring? That was some nasty blow." The middle-age witch glared at the raven-haired boy next to her.

Silence stretched between the three, until Lupin pointed to himself. "Oh... Do you mean me?"

"Mr. Black, stay here. I need to go retrieve the Headmaster," Pomfrey ordered, as she rushed from the Wing.

"She seemed nice," Lupin commented, "So, Mr. Black? I have I known you for long?"

Sirius just couldn't seem to be able to lift his chin off the floor. This wasn't happening. Remus was too smart to be victim to memory loss.

"You're drooling," Remus laughed, "There's a pool at your feet. I wouldn't make any quick move-"

The wolf stopped mid-sentence when Sirius sprung forward. He held the wolf's face in hard calloused hands. "You are Remus John Lupin. I'm Sirius. Your best friend. We have known each other for six years. And-" Sirius paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. "And-"

"Sirius!" Echoed another voice from the doorway to the Wing. "Is he awake? How is he?" The voice came closer to reveal a head of wild hair. "Hey, Rem! Hit your head hard. Sorry 'bout that."

Remus stared at the new comer, and then back at the boy still gripping his face. "Do I know him too?"

**_What yah think? More? Let me know._**


	2. Sparks

**_Disclaimer: I say it once again..Mrs. R..how I wish. :O)_**

**_AN: This posted with _Charlotte Lazarus-Charlie _in mind...Enjoy all_**

Chapter two

"Amnesia?" Remus chuckled. "That sounds like something from a romance novel, next you're gonna tell me I'm dating that bloke." Remus point over to Peter.

His three friends remained quiet.

"I'm not, am I?" The wolf pleaded as his mind panicked.

"No, no," Sirius finally reassured.

"Well, that's a relief," Remus smiled, ignoring the squeal from the round boy, as they turned a corner. "So, where are we going?"

"The Gryffindor common room," James replied, "Dumbledore told us to try to help you remember, and the only place where we can really do that now, is our dorm room."

"All right."

"Good evening, dearies," The fat lady beamed at the four. "I see you're doing better, young man."

"Of course." Remus returned the portrait's smile. "Um, Sirius?"

"Yes, Remus?"

"I think I'm hallucinating. That painting just spoke to me."

"Remus, this is the Fat Lady. She guards the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, so that no one but Gryffindors can get in," Sirius explained.

"Yes, that's what I do, dearie," The Fat Lady nodded.

"Wow. How long have you been doing that?"

"Oh, quite some time. I don't remember the exact amount of time I've hung here." The Fat Lady tapped her bottom lip in thought.

"Well, that must be a drag; hanging here day and night for years and years. Do you ever get lonely? I mean, does anyone stay and talk to you? I bet you have some really interesting stories, being here for longer than your self can remember."

"Well, now that you have brought it up, I do have this one scandalous tale 'bout a certain Headmistress and-"

"Balderdash," James and Sirius cried at the same time.

The Fat Lady glared at the pair, before swinging open to reveal a hole in the wall. The three boys climbed through, dragging an awe-shocked Remus with them.

OoOoOo

Remus had a total of sixteen seconds to scan the round common room, before a frenzy of red hair and hazel green eyes sprung out at him.

"Remus! You're all right! I heard you were assaulted by a Bludger! Some people are so careless and absentminded. They need to learn that the PITCH is where the game of QUIDDITCH belongs!"

"I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!" Sirius finally cracked. "She blew the whistle after I hit the thing, and who would have guessed it would have traveled that far away! I'm really sorry Remus- I didn't mean for it to hit you."

"It's fine, Sirius," The wolf smiled and then whispered. "Do I know her too?"

"Unfortunately," Sirius muttered back.

"Hey!" Shouted both James and Lily; causing the two to blush.

"You two like each other. Don't you?" Remus laughed. "Don't they?" He turned back to Sirius.

"I do not like that arrogant pig head!" Lily cried, and to prove her point she hexed James for no real reason.

Remus' eyes bulged out of his skull at the sight of green moss sprouting from James' face. "That's disgusting. Why'd you do that to him?"

"Teach him to stand close to me!" Lily spat, and then stormed off to the girl's dormitory.

"Remind me never to cross her," Remus told Sirius, withdrawing a step or two from the moss covered James. "I don't want to look like that."

"Don't worry, mate. James is the only one who gets the pleasure of sporting the Lily Evans' spring look. Come on. I'll show you our room, see if it helps you any."

Remus nodded and followed Sirius up the stairs, while Peter fussed over James' face.

"So, that happens often?" Remus cast one last curious look over his shoulder.

"Every so often. Did it seem familiar?" Sirius' face light up if only for a second.

"No, not really. It grosses me out though. Does it normally?"

"I don't know," Sirius answered as he swung open an oak wood door. "Here we are." He lifted his arms into the air as if presenting the wolf a grand prize. "Anything?"

Remus soaked in the whole room and then shook his head.

Sirius sighed. "This is your bed." He pointed to the one closest to them and the door. "Go on, sit on it. Take it all in. Remember?"

Remus ran a faded scared hand along the red fabric on his bed. A wave of heat and tangled sheets passed through his vision.

"Yes?"

The wolf blinked and shook his head again as he sat down on the edge of the mattress. "Nope. Nothing."

**_AN: What ya think? Let me know._**


	3. Missing

**_Disclaimer: Still not mine, J.K.'s babies. lol_**

Chapter three

Remus lay awake in _his_ bed. He didn't feel right; something was missing. He rubbed at his sleep deprived eyes, trying to rid them of the tension headache he was receiving.

The wolf finally gave up on resting and sat up. His pupils adjusted well to the dim light provided from the almost full moon in the night sky. The pulse of the floating rock seemed to pull the boy from his bed; drawing him to the open window. It was a beautiful sight, along with the blanket of bright stars, but he sensed a strange kind of relationship he had with the moon herself. He felt like she controlled his world. She could bend him to her will, and he was powerless to her. No magic could loosen their bond. He felt that even in death he would feel her pull; her choking grip on his throat.

"Moony?"

The beast lashed out at the hand on his shoulder.

"Remus," Sirius gasped, the wolf's fingernails digging into the flesh of his neck. "It's all right."

"I'm sorry," Remus breathed, his hands dropping to his sides. "I just- I just can't sleep. And I don't know why."

The two stood in silence; the night breeze flowing through their bed messed hair. "It's because of what you are," Sirius spoke suddenly.

Remus chuckled. "You know, it's even funnier when you say it the second time." He turned to face the window. "A werewolf," he continued to smile. "The idea is just so laughable."

"I don't find it funny. And neither did you."

"I didn't?" Sirius shook his head. "When I knew."

The moonlight washed over the wolf's features, and for the first time Sirius saw no fear in Remus' dark gaze as he peered out into the night. "I'm sorry, Remus." Sirius patted the others arm before turning back to his own bed, and climbed in.

"Sirius, wait."

"Yes?"

"I couldn't sleep because something was bothering me. I don't know what it is, but I know it wasn't the knowledge of the moon," Remus paused, stepping closer to the other. "And I don't know how to put into words what I think might be wrong. So-" Remus held his breathe; neither blinked.

"So?" Sirius whispered.

The wolf gulped as he clasped his fingers tightly around the hem on his night shirt, and, with determined courage etched in his eyes, he climbed into Sirius' bed. He pressed his back up against the boy's flat bare chest and rested his cheek onto the Sirius scented pillow, in one flowing movement. The warmth radiating off of Sirius was sponged up by Remus, and he sighed contently. "Better," he exhaled, asleep even before Sirius' arm snaked around his waist and pulled him closer.

OoOoOo

A pair of eyes stared at him; one a hollow yellow and the other the deepest blue. The fierce golden orb burrowed through his mind, claiming all that stood in its way. It possessed the ability to bring even the sturdiest man to his knees, and this pathetic excuse for a man did not have a pray. And while the creature's vision ripped away at the small child's interior, the other orb held with it the deepest regret and sympathy for its counterpart. With one arctic stare, it pleaded forgiveness and freedom. It hoped the world would look past the faults of the other, to give it a chance to live. To live life like the rest that inhabited the Earth. To be remembered.

**_That's all for now...More?_**


	4. Blur

**_Disclaimer: Once...i should have only had to say this once...oh, how i envy u J K Rowling! XD lol_**

**_Warning: Only a kiss, but what a kiss. The rest is up to your imagination, and if you are interested in this story you must have a good one. :-) p.s. This Chapter is for _**RL4SBnotNT**_ because she wanted it. Made longer because _**Tears-of-a-different-shade**_ asked for it. And hopefully a little more clearer because _**ProtegoNox**_ was left hanging.  
:-) Thank you all. (And if the dream still isn't clear after this Chapter, it will be in ending few.)_**

Chapter four

Remus woke with a start. The back of his night shirt leeched to the sweat collecting on his lower back and neck. His mind panicked; trying to seize a firm grip on where he was as the piercing glare from his dream faded away to a fuzzy blur.

The wolf ran a shaky hand through his matted hair. He fought with himself to find the meaning behind the images he saw, to keep them close, but they had other plans. The wolf shook his head in frustration and plopped his body back onto the mattress; a small groan escaping his lips.

"You all right, Moony?"

The title stirred a nerve deep within his mind, but he ignored it as a smooth hand lightly grazed the side of his face. "Yes, I'm okay."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," The wolf managed as the other traced his bottom lip with its thumb.

"Did your dreams help you?" Sirius moved his hand away. "To remember?"

Remus whimpered a little when the touches stopped. "Maybe," he sighed, "I seemed to have forgotten even them." The wolf leaned his head back to stare over at his bed mate. "Go figure?" he chuckled lightly.

Sirius smiled politely at him as an idea come over his mind. "I know," he almost shouted, but remembered that the other two Marauders were sleeping. "I might have something that will help you remember."

Remus' eyes lit up. "Please tell me."

Sirius grinned, moving a bit closer to the wolf. "I'll show you," he whispered, and leaned forward.

Remus' eyes widened when their lips met, but soon they fluttered close. It is amazing how one tiny action could make a person feel so alive! Remus never wanted this sensation to cease. He wanted to lift up his arms and hold that wondrous being in place, but he could not bring himself to move. Afraid all would be lost if he even thought the deed was real. Thus the thrill was over too soon. "Does it help? Can you remember?"

Remus took in a slow breath before he opened his eyes to the excited boy hovering over him. "I don't know how I could forget something like that."

"You do remember!" Sirius yelled, causing James to snort in his sleep.

"But I don't. I wish I could." Remus' eyes fell to the mattress, where they traced the stitching on the sheets below them. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Sirius answered softly, "I should have guessed that it wouldn't have worked. But not even a little spark?" The raven-haired boy asked eagerly.

Remus laughed, a smile creasing his face. "You could try again? I probably just wasn't ready for the first one. Maybe if I know it's coming, it'll be easier to bring forth the memory."

Sirius couldn't help but chuckle at that last sentence, if this was how Remus was going to talk than maybe they shouldn't help him bring back his memory. This Remus laughed more, his face light up with a genuine happiness that was missing from his eyes before he was hit. He was much more complete and forward; Sirius concluded as the wolf found the use of his arms and placed his left hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. It was Sirius who tried to hide his moan when the wolf partially pulled him flat onto his chest; deepening the kiss. "Whoa," Sirius breathed out as he reluctantly separated them; a lopsided smile on his faces, "You sure don't waste time now."

Remus blinked a few times, his own breath returning. "Should I go slower?" It was actually Moony speaking, but neither of them knew that.

Sirius opened his mouth, but then closed it not knowing what to say to that as Remus let his hand slid from his neck, down his arm, and then rested it onto the mattress. His dark blue eyes were speckled with patches of gold-yellow that left Sirius in such a state, he was unable to look away from them. "You don't have to," The words came to Sirius as some foreign language, but he meant them.

OoOoOo

The sun's position shone exactly at noon when the essences of a silencing charm lessened and vanished from around the only occupied bed in the Gryffindor sixth year boy's dormitory on that Sunday; the day after it all started.

No one questioned why one particular wolf's bed was empty, or why another pup's curtains were still closed. No one heard the mounting pleasure that wrapped that wolf's mind and soul. He was told they had done this before and the pup's skill spoke for that, but small tears still lingered in his eyes as his mate went slow. Caring about his needs, his lack of knowledge. He felt more alive than he had the night before when he crawled into Sirius' bed.

OoOoOo

"Today is Sunday," Sirius' told the wolf as he buttoned up his white dress shirt. "Normally we would wear school robes, but since there are no classes we are not entitled to do so."

Remus nodded as he tucked the shirt tails into his black slacks. "Okay."

"They are serving lunch right now, so if you are hungry, we can go down and get some," Sirius smiled, his own stomach growling. "And even if you aren't, the sight of the Great Hall might help you," he added, taking Remus' hand and escorting him out of the dorm.

The wolf laughed. "Does that mean, you are hungry, Padfoot?" Remus raised an eyebrow to make sure he was using the right nickname Sirius had told him.

"Yeah, what's it to you, Moony?" Sirius joked, ignoring Remus' questioning tone as they went through the common room. Some eyes turned their way as voices lowered to a dull roar.

"Sirius? Why are they all staring at us?"

"News travels fast." He stated.

Remus' eyes widened. "You mean they know we-"

"Oh! No! Merlin no!" Sirius waved his hands in front of the wolf's face to stop his next words. "No body needs to know that. I may not care if they do, but for your sake, Moony. For your sake." Sirius brushed some strands of black hair out of his eyes. "I meant about your memory problem, and how it was my, my fault."

Remus watched as the other boy's gray eyes fell to the floor. "Is there something interesting down there?" he asked, with a grin pasted on his face.

Sirius lifted his gaze and snorted. "Come on you, prat," he laughed, placing his arm around the wolf's shoulders and glided him out of the portrait hole.

"That amazes me every time," Remus said as they disappear down the hall.

"This was what? Your tenth time going through it? How amazing can it be?" Sirius asked as they rounded a corner, and was immediately welcomed by a moving staircase.

"This is bloody amazing too," The wolf breathed, "One would think I could remember such a place like this."

"This really is nothing." Sirius tried to tell him as they took the last step off the stairs. The pup reached for the double doors to the Great Hall and swung them both open. "Now, this!" he exclaimed, "Is amazing."

**_A.N. More? Yes? nods head_**


	5. Heart

**_Disclaimer: Once again, nich mich...lol_**

**_Warning: Not many...maybe I should have made fists fly? (lol)_**

Chapter five

It's hard to follow along when the topic at hand is something you can't remember hearing. Like last week's Charms homework or Potion class's three inch essay do on Dragon teeth. How much can you write about dragon teeth, and Dragons? And not to mention focusing the mind to bring the cosmoses back together so you can figure out if your friend will wear green or red sockets come Thursday.

"Red sockets, of course!" James laughed, "Padfoot over here might revert back to basic family instincts and realize what a fool he has been and support the Slytherin gits. But I am Gryffindor through and through."

And as James' forehead met the table, Remus couldn't help but laugh and smile along with the rest, memory forgotten, in more ways than one.

"I'll give you Slytherin support." Sirius stretched his neck, glancing at the teacher's table and then back to the entrance. "Hey Snivellus!" He cried, and aimed his wand.

Remus twisted in his seat just in time to see one dark haired boy look up from his meal, only to have his pumpkin juice explode in his face. Remus turned back around as the boy's glare seemed to burn holes into everything in sight. "Why did you do that?"

"Poor Moony, can't even remember that Snivellus is our sworn enemy?" James asked as he draped an arm over his shoulders.

"I guess not," Remus answered and picked up his own juice. He paused a minute, staring into the glass.

"Don't worry, Moony. We won't make yours' explode. You're a Marauder. One of us!" Sirius explained with a mouth full of food.

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Lily. "That's still disgusting, Black. After all these years have you not learned any manners? And leave Severus alone, you're in sixth year for crying out loud!"

"Another thing you need to learn about Lily," Sirius leaned over the table close to Remus. "Is that she is a Slytherin sympathizer. And your main focus is Snivilley over there. Which is sad, since four-eyes-McGee over here can't pry all four off her, and she doesn't notice a wink." Sirius laughed as his words were ignored by both parties he spoke of until he picked up a roll and tossed it at James' head. James' lifted his eyes from Lily long enough to stare around the table to see what had happened, and then went back to staring intently. "See what I mean?"

Remus laughed along with Sirius and Peter as he went to take a sip of his juice only to end up drowning in a pumpkin juice explosion. "Merlin's balls!" James exclaimed as cold juice splashed over the arm still draped over Remus' shoulder as the werewolf began to cough up a lung or two.

"That sniveling arse!" Sirius cursed and jumped over the table to get closer the Slytherin one. "You want to attack someone, make sure you're not seen by the person's friend who is willing to get a whole month of detention from kicking your already bent nose in!"

"Sirius no!" Remus tried to choke out as James patted his back saying the wart deserved it. The werewolf shook his head and got up from the table, his eyes still a little watery. He grabbed Sirius' arm and pulled him behind him as the Slytherin's surrounding Severus stood up; wands drawn.

"Let me go, Remus. I'm going to wipe that smirk off his face," Sirius growled.

"Yes. Let him go Lupin. I'm sure if he can wipe clean his own friends memory he will have no problem clearing the smirk from my face. I'm sure McGonagoll would love to hear how fast Black here gets around." Snape continued to smirk, it was a lame come back Sirius knew, but it burned that Snape would talk about Remus like that, and he was about to snap a rather rude comment about Snape's mother when Remus spoke up.

"You listen to me and you listen well, Severus," he told Snape, using the boy's name as if it did not matter what he was, just that he understood what was about to be told to him. "I'm sorry for any trouble Sirius, my self, James, or Peter has caused you." Sirius' mouth dropped open. "But it seems to me that these are childish games, and I can't even remember my childhood at the moment in time. It was not funny what Sirius did to your juice and it was even less amusing for you to retaliate with the same exercise. Especial if your target wasn't even the one to 'cast the spell'. I think you should really think about your actions, and how immature it really was to counterattack." Remus turned away from the table and slightly shocked Slytherin. "Come on Sirius," he grabbed the boy's arm and marched out of the large chamber.

OoOoOo

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you!" Sirius snapped before they even got half way up the staircase as Remus thought to lead them back to the Gryffindor common room. The angered raven haired boy yanked his arm from Remus' hold. "H-how dare you speak to him like he is of equal standards! That boy has done just as many things to us that we have ever done to him! He is bent on corrupting your life Remus and you treated him as if, as if, he were human!"

Remus bit his bottom lip and then exploded, much like his pumpkin juice did. "Well excuse me if I can't remember a bloody damn thing! What I was going off of is what I saw in that dining hall. You were both acting like children. And I know first-hand that you don't always act that way, so why should you to him! Why are you giving him the ability to get that kind reaction out of you? It is degrading. And always will be."

Sirius mouth dropped open for the second time in the last ten minutes. "Remus-"

"Listen, Sirius," he held the other boy's face in his hands. "I may not know about my past, what I am, or where I have been. I may not even remember what we had, but I know deep down that there is a meaningful connection between us. And that display only made me feel that connection waver, only in the slightest. And now I will do anything to get it all back." Small tears blurred Sirius' vision, as Remus continued. "I'm going to find myself, Sirius. I'm not sure how long it will take, but I hope you will be there when it finally comes." Remus kissed Sirius' forehead and then left the boy standing there on the stairs.

Sirius was too distracted by his own emotions to realize Remus had left.

_**A.N. Want more? ...Yes? Let me know!**  
_


	6. Can't

**_Disclaimer: It all belongs to her; J. K. :)_**

**_Warning: I'm not giving anything away! XP (lol)_**

Chapter Six

The halls were void of life. Not even the constant pulse of the magical world could make it through his now hollow being. He stood in front of a shinny suit of armor, touching the reflection of the light brown haired boy. Was he really this person? Did the two have anything in common? He thought of Sirius' facial expression, his angered words after he pulled him out of the Great Hall. What was wrong with him? Sirius said it as if he had always let that kind of behavior slip from his mind, but not this time. It was uncalled for and made his insides turn the wrong way.

Remus let his hand drop to his side. Perhaps it would be better to not find this other state of mind. He seemed to only let people walk all over him as if his wants and needs meant nothing. Maybe it had some thing to do with what Sirius said he was; a werewolf. Did that make him different than _normal_ witches and wizards? He didn't feel different, except for the fact that he can't remember a bloody thing.

The boy sighed and continued on his way, letting his feet take him where they wanted.

OoOoOo

Sirius stormed into the boy's dormitory, slamming the door with force that all four bedposts shook. Who was Remus to call him childish! To compare him to Snape! Sirius dropped onto his bed with a dull thud, reminding himself that this wasn't really _his_ Remus, or was it? Did Remus really think those things way before he even lost his memory? Sirius shook his head. No, not his Remus. His Remus was smart, reserved, and saw the world through the same eyes Sirius himself had! He just needed to leave Remus to find himself and things would be back to normal.

"What happened to Remus?" James demanded as he hovered over Sirius' bed. "Where is he?"

"How should I know?" Sirius answered, not totally ridden his voice of the irritated tone. "He went to go look for himself the last time I checked."

"Why didn't you go with him? He doesn't have any memory of this place remember?"

"Of course I remember." Sirius sat up, almost hitting his forehead against James'. "He seemed to not want my help. So I let him go on his own." Oh, it was a lie, a horrible untruthful lie, but Sirius couldn't bring himself to say exactly what Remus had said to him.

"Okay," the boy shrugged and walked over to his trunk. "I guess we can let him cool down a bit. He did seem so high strung. Wasn't that weird? How he reacted...?"

"I wouldn't know," Sirius said back, making it known he didn't want to talk about it.

"Fine, don't bite my arm off about it," the other said, dropping the book in his hand back into the trunk. "I swear, Sirius, you have more mood swings than Lily does. And I think I get enough from her that I can say, quit it, to you."

It happened so quickly. Sirius was sitting on the edge of his bed, his fists balled, and then he was tackling James to the ground. "I'll do what I want! Even knock out all four of your bloody eyes!" Sirius punched his follow Marauder in the side, leaving James to gasp for air as he tried to counterattack while his arms were pinned to the floor. Prongs didn't understand. Sirius had done this to Remus, ruined his life, taking away what every person can never be alone when they had it. And he could do nothing at all to give the boy his memories back.

Sirius growled as he took his frustration out on his friend, his true brother, before his body was forced away from the other. "Mr. Black. Mr. Potter. You will cease and desist." Snapped the unmistakable voice of Head of Gryffindor house, Professor McGonagall. "Where is Mr. Lupin?"

Sirius caught himself on the side of the boy's bed being asked about, and didn't say a word as he glared at the ground.

"I asked you both a question. Whatever your truffle was about it is of little interest to finding out where Mr. Lupin is located. Now speak."

"Sirius said he was going to find himself," James said from the floor, his voice slightly raspy.

"Is that true, Mr. Black?" McGonagall turned on the boy resting against the four post bed. "Speak, Mr. Black or I promise you will be cleaning out toilets for the rest of the school year."

Sirius looked up at the claim. Why was finding the boy so important? He was in the castle. How hard could it be to find him? And why? "He is in the castle somewhere...why?" And as the word left his lips Sirius figured out why. His eyes shot to the open window and the darkening sky outside of it. "Remus!" The black haired teen shouted and bolted to the door and was out of it as the Professor shouted at him to stop.

"Stay here Mr. Potter," McGonagall ordered the teen and then hurried from the dorm room.

OoOoOo

He wasn't moping, he never moped. He was thinking, thinking of what he could do to stop all the horrible things in his life. He was the underdog. The being everyone saw through, but could in truth never be read if a person tried. He had come close to having someone care, to having someone see him. But that was a lie as well. And that lie hurt more than anything a curse or potion could throw at him.

And here he was now, after leaving the library an hour ago, roaming the halls to who knew where and for who knew how much longer. It was then that he saw the boy. Lupin. Remus Lupin. How dare that boy be all high and mighty toward him? He had half the mind to hex the boy, and pulled out his wand to do such a thing. But Lupin seemed in pain. His body was shaking. His skin a paper white and he was sweating. Beads of sweat flowed down his face like an over flooded bath tub. He was clenching the fabric of his clothes, his eyes wide and frightened as he stared out pass Severus Snape to the open window behind him.

OoOoOo

It happened so quick, it always happened like this had he remembered. So much pain, intense ripping sensation coursing through his veins, even the bone. He doubled over; his hands clawing at his chest. _Make it stop._ His mind begged.

On his hands and knees, Remus' changing fingers practically cracking the smooth stone floor so many had walked on day in and day out. At some point he started to scream, tears lined his eyes as he heard it. Heard the bone under the skin of his right shoulder snap. He gasped, other bones following the first's lead. Remus lifted his dilated yellow eyes to the being he sensed come around the corner. It was prey. The beast knew. Remus couldn't understand how this thing inside him knew, when he surely did not.

The wolf's voice blended with the scrawny boy's final scream and then took over completely.

OoOoOo

Dear Merlin, he was not scared. He was beyond scared, terrified. It didn't register that he was shaking any more. Pulled from a monster fiction was how is mind compared the transformation before him. Late night television movie programs for the creep that could not sleep. But this, this was real. So real.

The beast snarled at him, laughing at his pathetic stance; wand pointed at the creature's head. He was going to die, going to the beyond. Perhaps haunt the halls like all the ghosts of Hogwarts; cursed to wander the stone structure for fear of going on. However, he wasn't afraid to die. He wasn't going to die. Why would he die? He was clever and this beast was just an over grown puppy, and before he knew it the spell he created escaped his lips. And the beast slumped forward; his wand piercing through its heart. And he realized, this was Remus Lupin.

OoOoOo

'_Sectumsempra_' that was the word that he heard last. It sliced through his chest, but it didn't hurt. What hurt was the wooden stake in his heart. The organ gave one slow beat as his skin morphed back to human. Images flashed into his mind, images of three boys' and their animal forms. His mother came to mind, his father, and the day he was bitten. It all came back in one massive flood of thoughts and memories.

OoOoOo

The changing beast fell into his arms. His knees buckled and they both dropped to the stone floor. He now felt his bones shaking, he had killed another being. A boy. A classmate. It didn't matter the house or the colors he bore, they were now only one color; red. Blood red.

It pooled around them as the scrawny boy tried to speak. "Sev-Severus?" His breathing was ridged, and yet Severus hung onto every word and syllable.

"Yes?" His lips quivered.

"Will, will you tell Sirius, tell Sirius that I remember?" Remus choked out the words, blood seeping from the corner of his mouth.

"Of course I will, Remus." He used the boy's name. Not angry at the Gryffindor. He never was angry at this one. And these were his last words, his last statement; wishes.

"Thank you, Severus," came the last three words, followed by silence.

"Remus!" Screamed the late arrival of one Sirius Black.

**_A.N. More? yes? let me know :)_**


	7. Crazed

**_A.N. At long last here is my chapter seven, it probably isn't much, but I'm sure more will come because I found out there is still one person out there interested. Thanks for reviewing!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Rowling marked claim to it all many years ago (lol)_**

Chapter Seven

He wasn't too late; it was all his mind could tell itself, although that nagging voice taunted him that Remus had morphed back to his human form while the moon still shone as high as she wished through the stone window. Tears, blood, hatred as well as lingering gratitude swam through Sirius' mind and body while he cradled the fallen wolf in his arms; no heed to the other that was planted hard onto his ass from the sheer invisible force radiating off the Gryffindor.

"You bastard," Sirius hissed through his clenched teeth. He pressed his forehead to the top of Remus' matted, sweat soaked brown hair. "Did he," He saw nothing but darkness until he opened his eyes and glared at Severus. "What did he say to you creep! Did he say anything?" Sirius didn't want to look away from Remus, but he had to stare the other boy down.

"Yes," he gulped.

"He said YES!" Sirius barked, "Tell me what he said!" he forced the other to look at him once more.

"He remembered, remembers." Severus stood, hearing the footfalls heading toward them.

Sirius reached out, his fingers digging into the student's robes to stop him from moving. "That's all," Severus added, stepping back while the Professors came onto the scene.

OoOoOo

They had to shoo him away, told him it wasn't healthy to be stationary for so long. Sirius saw nothing wrong with what he was doing. He had sat for thirty-six hours without moving or eating, just like now on his four-post bed, beside the enchanted body of his deceased friend. He had heard Dumbledore speaking to Madame Pomfrey that they were waiting for the boy's parents.

It was almost as if Remus had never existed and that alone made Sirius furious. He punched his mattress as he stared at the ceiling and then started to tear up again. He should have been there when Remus changed. No, he shouldn't have left him alone period. He should not have been so self or hot-headed over Severus.

Sirius sat up when the boy's name crossed his mind. Severus. It was Severus' fault his Remus was dead. He should be punished. Should be, should be. Sirius bit into his bottom lip as he fought down uncontrolled hatred and utter sorrow and regret. "It's my fault."

"It isn't your fault," The voice that replied was light and happy, and it made Sirius sick to his stomach. "I feel a lot better now, happy even," Remus laughed, swinging his feet over the side of Sirius' bed. "This is how you feel everyday isn't it? Normal and free?"

Sirius closed his gray eyes, shaking his head like a fool wishing he were luckier with women.

"Are you sick, Sirius? I heard Pomfrey telling you to eat something, maybe you should?" Remus continued to talk as if the boy sitting in the center of the bed wasn't conversing with a ghost. "It would do no good for your future if you collapsed now."

"I'm not hungry."

"That's a lie if I ever heard one," Remus stood, strolling along the mattress and then placing a hand on one of the posts and twirling around to the end of the bed. He hung there staring down his friend as the other looked to him.

"So what if it is?" Sirius asked; his regret was now pushing more toward anger, "Why did you have to go and leave me? It's selfish, you aren't the selfish one. I am." He pointed to his chest, and then started to crawl along the bed. "If anyone was supposed to leave, it was me." He watched Remus tilt his head to the side with his smile never fading. "And I wouldn't have broken your heart, because you would have found someone that made you happier."

"I am happy."

"Someone would have made you happy, not a state of non-being." He reached to touch Remus' hand on the bed post, but the boy seemed to have moved long before Sirius even had the idea to perform the action.

"It's all right if you blame me, Sirius," Remus said now standing next to the four-post bed he had used while alive. "I ask you though, please leave Severus alone. I know you blame him, but you shouldn't. You also should not blame yourself."

"What? Why in Merlin's name, I don't blame myself!" Sirius scrambled off the bed, his foot tangling in the sheets. He fell to his face off the edge of the bed, when he looked up his friend was gone.

OoOoOoOo

James slipped onto the bench next to his friend. "It's good to see you down here, eating for a change."

Sirius stabbed his fork into his mushed potatoes.

"Yeah, well, I'm still glad to see you down here." James lifted his hand to pat Sirius' shoulder, but put it down again. "You missed what Wormtail did the other day."

Sirius sighed, scooping up a glob of potatoes and then plopping them back down onto the plate.

"Well, it was," James caught onto Black's attitude and sighed, "It was nothing important. You're eating and all."

"Yes, James, yes I'm eating." Sirius picked up his fork and stuck it into his mouth. "See?"

"Listen, Sirius, I know you're upset,"

"You don't know anything," he snorted.

"I know you're upset, but you, Remus wouldn't want this from you."

Sirius pushed his plate away, glaring at James, as he got up from the table and left the Great Hall. The eyes of the school were upon him. They probably thought he was crazed, the Black inbreeding finally made him snap. They didn't know what he knew; rumors only covered so much in this school. The student body kept on with their peaceful lives, James as well, and he shared the same room as Remus. Sirius had shared much more and though it was nothing but lost secrets now it still held strong inside his head. So strong he saw his friend's ghost. He saw it everywhere. Haunted by the mess he made.

Sirius didn't notice he had left the castle until a breeze came up and struck his face. It blew his loose strands of black hair from his eyes to where he could make out the lone silhouette of a boy standing on the dock outstretched over the lake water. He took to running to the body, full speed, until he came close enough to the robed boy and pushed him into the lake. "How dare you! How dare you crawl out of your damn dungeon and act like a human being!" Sirius screamed at the body that had yet to resurface. "You're nothing Severus Snape."

_**A.N. Hope you enjoyed it. Want more? Let me know :D**_


	8. Two Sets

_**Disclaimer: Jk's babies *sad face***_

_**AN: Well...here you go (lol)  
**_

Chapter eight

Severus stared down into the murky water. He came outside for an escape from the shadow tailing his every move and fueling his fears. Severus wrapped his cloak tighter around his thin frame in hopes to ward off the chilling sensation. He still felt the boring eyes behind him.

The ghost seemed to stare grudgingly at the back of his head. It made even the silence they shared nerve racking. Even now Severus saw the reflection of the boy, or more so, creature. Its shoulders were hunched forward as if ready to drop on all fours and bounce on his back. _Why don't you attack me!_ He wanted to shout at the being, and still only the wind spoke between them.

He had done what was asked of him. He had told the Gryffindor boy exactly what he had promised and now he was cursed. It had happened that night, the second he had falling onto his seat into the pool of crimson liquid. Sirius had not pushed him, nor did he intimidate him, it was those red eyes that glared four feet away, and then vanished when Professors rushed by it.

He slightly wondered and somehow knew he was being haunted. It was by what he could not understand. The thing resembled the boy, but he did not appear to act like him. It did not appear to act human at all. Severus closed his eyes and wondered why such a dark creature was allowed to enter the school, and then the world around him became dark, endless, and weightless.

OoOoOo

A shoulder knocked Sirius off balance as he shouted at popping air bubbles. It happened so fast he wasn't even sure the object was human. In all honesty, Sirius found little interest in the happenings before him and turned to leave.

James wrapped his fingers around Severus' collar and pulled him up once he found the boy sinking down into the depths. He hooked his arm around the others' waist and they burst through the surface together; gasping for air. He swam with one arm to the dock and hoisted Severus' water-logged body onto it.

"You bloody git!" he choked out to Sirius' back as he himself lifted onto the dock, "What in Merlin's name is wrong with you?"

"Wrong with me? Wrong with me!" Sirius twisted about and pointed down to the Slytherin's still body. "He killed Remus! That thing killed our friend and I couldn't be happier if he drowned."

James stared up at Sirius, water dripping from his dark hair, "A life for a life?" he said in slight disbelief.

"Yes."

"That's not how I see it." James held his fingers just below Severus' hooked nose and then started to push onto his chest. He breathed into the others' mouth, the whole time being glared at by Black, until Severus choked up water.

"I don't know who you are any more," Sirius said in a low voice and left the scene in disgust.

Severus spat out a glob of lake moss, "Are you all right?" he was asked, flinching away from the hand that tried to touch him.

"I don't need your help, Potter!" Severus continued to cough, ignoring James.

"You both are a bunch of ruddy gits, but that doesn't mean you both don't need help," he said, standing up and stepped around Severus' soaked form.

The Slytherin looked away and pressed his thin lips together, "Wait," he cried out. He held out his hand. James took the limb and hauled Severus to his feet. He hooked the others' arm over his shoulder and began to walk toward the castle.

"It may be me, I don't know, but I think we are all square now," James fixed his glasses with his free hand. "As this week wraps to a close you have to believe the same thing?"

Severus sighed, and then shook his head.

"Come on, it's time to move on, are you not tired of this petty child's play?"

"It's hard to be over it," Severus appeared to be staring at the doors to the grand castle, "but as always you come up with the wrong conclusion, Potter."

"What do you mean?" James stared at the profile of the Slytherin boy.

Severus sighed once more, his mind unsure where to take the conversation, "You're the nifty Gryffindor boy, figure it out yourself."

James sighed, "I just did. Do you want me to apologies? I can. I'm sorry, Severus. I'm sorry for it all. I don't see the point of fighting any longer, why do you?"

Severus pulled away from James, stumbling a little, "You think I'm fighting? How thick does your skull go? I want no part of you or your friends. Tell them to leave me alone and you will never see me again!"

"Sirius? He won't listen to any one, I've tried."

"No."

"No? Who then?"

"Lupin," Severus' voice sounded haunted, "I did what he asked and I don't want to be bothered any further. You hear me!" Severus shouted to air and a confused James.

"Remus is dead, okay. Professor Dumbledore is keeping him on ice until his parents arrive. There's no bringing him back."

Severus rolled his eyes, his wet cloak spraying the ground as he turned on heel and walked away.

"It's your guilt!" James cries after him, "Guilt is keeping his memory alive in you. Sirius feels it too. Pay your respects to him as the boy that always stuck up for you when we tortured you."

Severus pauses a second, the words hitting him hard, and then continued into the castle out of the cold. "Go see him," he says to himself.

"Take me to him," whispers the creature into his ear. "I want to see him."

Severus cringes as the sleeve of his cloak turns red, the claw like hand griping him. "I don't fear anything."

The ghost grins at the Slytherin, "You should fear me."

_**AN: ?**_


End file.
